The American Mastodon realizes that he promised to keep the random sputterings of prose to a minimum. Well, clearly, the AM is not an animal of his word, or he wouldn't have posted that previous monstrosity of treacle and confection. So, eff you all. The AM is an outlaw, a rebel, and he does what he pleases. If that means wearing black leather chaps to work, so be it. If it means buying an entire bag of snack-sized Milky Ways and eating them with a two-liter of Mountain Dew, so be it. If it means soliciting the company of children at the local school with promises of bumper pool and free pop, then, by God, so be it.
You can't cage him. You can't fence him in. He roams free.