Wednesday, October 06, 2004


By request, the American Mastodon was contacted and asked to provide his opinion on the recently released film, "I Heart Huckabees". The following are his thoughts.

Well, it's disappointing, really. This film represented a chance to resurrect that great, forgotten American genre, the "existential-screwball-activist-romantic-comedy". Ok, all joking aside, in all seriousness, let me be serious. Alright, seriously, this film was pretty bad. Bad despite itself. Inspired acting, great scenes, and good dialogue. But no characters. None. Every character in the film was flimsy and one-dimensional, with either deeply-held convictions or deep-seated repressions and insecurities, all wholly without explanation.

The film was a mess and didn't achieve any of its aims. It was humorous and entertaining, but so is the Daily Show. Russell seemed contemptuous of his audience, and to prove that he thought they were idiots, he provided a condescending deus-ex-machina or whatever you call it at the end of the film. I could've done better. Give me five bucks (that's half off the ticket price!) and I'll tell you all you need to know about "Huckabees": "Life is hard, sometimes interesting, and your perceptions of it will always change".

You know where to send the checks.

The American Mastodon, once thought to be an extinct species, lives a solitary life and rarely makes public appearances.


Rob said...

Thank you for not liking this movie. I haven't seen it and had no plans to do so, but now I feel officially let off the hook. Seriously. Thanks. Seriously.

King Koopa said...

Man, sometimes when I think you're purposely going to try and surprise me, you surprise me by doing exactly what you always do: shitting on things. Plop-Plop goes the American Mastodon, as what remians of his fibrous meal of tubers makes its way onto another topic. Just for curiousity's sake, what pray-tell was the last Hollywood/studio movie that you will admit to un-ironically loving? Eternal Sunshine? Kill Bill? And, if you say you don't like either one I shall cast thee into the abyss of irrelevance.

Guess I should be careful what I ask for from now on...I was really looking forward to seeing that movie, thanksafuckinlot twirp.

Mathis said...

Fair enough. As an arbiter of truth and light, I acknowledge that you would naturally turn to me to decipher, in this cluttered landscape of cultural over-saturation, which fruit to pluck from the tree of film.

Two nights ago I saw "Mystic River" on DVD. Absolutely the best American film of the past couple of years. Yes, "ESOTSM" was a great film, but "Adaptation" was better ("Lumina. Awethome."). "Kill Bill" was good but not my cup of tea.

Don't ask for my opinion unless you want it. This is a no-spin zone, mofo.

Listen Koopa: just because a film is new and stars Jason Rushmore, it's not by default good.

King Koopa said...

Alright, we're both wiseacres...and I did indeed want your opinion, Mr. O'Reilly. I just had to make sure I wasn't dealing with a film-school elitist who only likes German films from the 70's. And, please don't paint me with that first-album-of-Phanom Planet-loving, Slackers-was-underrated, and that-Fox-TV-show-he-had-wasn't-that-bad-either Jason Schwartzman brush. If you check out the Onion this week you'll probably see why I was interested in your thoughts on the movie, which I haven't seen, yet. They are #2 on my "Arbiter of Truth and Light" list.

King Koopa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sue said...

If it's existentialist humor you're after, go read some Kafka. Besides the pretentious name ("I 'HEART' Huckabees"), I felt the ad campaign was also terribly pretentious... Always stressing the "existential" in the term "existential comedy"... As if people will feel good about telling their co-workers "Hey, I saw an existential comedy this weekend... Aren't I well learned?"

Like Rob, I too have not yet seen this movie... But still, there's something unsettling about it... I can't quite put my finger on it... But it just makes me feel sick to know that there's a movie out there whose makers are adamant about you saying "I HEART Huckabees" and not "I love Huckabees" and whose genre is anything "existential."

If it were one or the other, I'd probably be okay with it.

Devil in a red dress named liz said...

Hi there. I came by way of Funnsylvania, took a right at the Spoonbender, cruised past the analogcabin and voila, here I am at the doorstep of your tarpit to get the dirt on I Heart Huckabees. Just as I thought...another movie about finding meaning which leaves you asking wtf it means. Isn't it odd that Jude Law is simultaneously playing Alfie and the lead in Huckabees? That is not a coincidence. It's all calculated for us to ask "What's it all about Alfie?" He'd probably say it's all about shagging. Maybe I can add that to your analysis and be satisfied: Life is hard, sometimes interesting, sometimes you get laid, other times you get fucked, and your perceptions of it will always change.