SOMEBODY SHUT THAT DOOR

As many of you know, I try not to get too political on this blog. I know why the millions of visitors come here - for the humor, for the pathos, for the tears, and for the love. And I do it all for them. Without the fans, I wouldn't be here.

But sometimes it's necessary to break a proverbial piece off and throw it down pundit-style, all up in y'alls.

Here's the sitch: during the Presidential campaign, both candidates passionately and resolutely repudiated the notion of a national draft. My bemused expression whenever I heard George Bush slap the podium, smirk, and state emphatically (though still bewilderingly, as if he could not understand why anyone would even suggest the possibility of a draft) that he would not implement a draft - yeah, sure, fucking right. My bemused expression whenever I heard John Kerry state that the best way to avoid a draft would be to elect him - yeah, right, fuck you. Cause let's face it, Bush et al has fucked up shit real good, and the election of John Kerry wasn't going to make our problems disappear. We made our bed, and boy howdy how we're not going to enjoy sleeping in it (see: falling dollar). The House's effort to try to pass legislation forbidding a draft was not only an effort to pander for votes, it was stupid and dangerous. Because, see, when we start that second and then that third war, we're going to need a fucking draft. Dumbasses.

Don't like the straight talk? Well then you can move to Chile and cry for the rest of your life. It's really an either/or at this point.

Now, news is coming out of North Korea that the love of Kim Jong Il's life, the "spiritual mother" of the People's Republic, has died, sending Kim Jong Il into a long seclusion. Since his sojourn out of the public eye, the military has begun removing images of the Dear Leader from buildings in the capital, Pyongyang.

Hmmm. Military coup in country with numerous nuclear warheads? Awesome. Quagmire in Iraq (elections aren't going to help a thing, you dumb pricks), with no end in sight? Tits. Iran playing footsie with Europe over its nuclear enrichment program, right after signing the biggest oil deal in history with China, thus ensuring its endless protection at the UN? Fuckin' A.

Our national situation has nothing to do with partisan politics anymore. It has to do with the fact that I and my friends are going to be drafted to go to war in some country with weird mountain ranges, lots of trains, yaks, and funny-tasting teas. Hope you're ready - I've already got my digital camera, iPod, and photoblog domain name. Bring it on.

Oh, and anyone who wants to join my Mandarin study group is more than welcome. Every Tuesday and Thursday night - Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Ocean Ave.