Word today from Mastodon City that the kid from Junior year of high school who, inexplicably, trailed me from class to class once for an entire day, grunting all the while, and in the process scaring the living shit out of me, was recently apprehended and thrown in city lock up by the local authorities.
Ruban Wilson III, 25, of 709 W. Market St., Mastodon City, arrested for two counts of dealing marijuana, both Class C misdemeanors. His bond is $20,000.
In the same bust, the Mastodon City police were fortunate enough to nab one of the nation's most well known anti-Semites and inventor of the assembly line.
Henry Ford, 42, of 340 E. Levi-Lee Road, Mastodon City, arrested for dealing cocaine, a Class A felony. His bond was set at $20,000.
Times-Union. They report, I decide.