Thursday, January 06, 2005


Well, I guess Anonymous isn't going to comment anymore on that old post, so here's a new post where perhaps he will feel comfortable, once again, to post a comment, wait awhile to make sure that no one else is going to respond, then tell us all why we should feel sorry for him. I like your style, Mystery Man, but you were wrong about one thing: it is not she, but rather you who are the "gift of valubles and a flower of beuty".

Dance with me?

Oh, God. What else. So how's everyone doing? And by "everyone", I mean Koopa, because I'm pretty sure he's the only one that reads this site with any sort of daily, or, at this point, weekly frequency. Times are tough, you know. Tsunamis. War. These are a few things that people very far away are experiencing. I've been really tired lately. Hey, did you guys think "Anchorman" was funny? Man, that was bad. And I sort of like "Old School", you know? Oh well, can't win 'em all.

I think I'm starting to get the hives again, and I think I know what causes their remission/outbreaks - the weather. Prolonged periods of cold, and I get them. JAMA will be interested in this news, I'm sure. Time to crack open that old rheumatology book! Ha ha. Ha.

I have a rash on my leg that won't go away. I even have a steroid cream I use at night. My allergist has me on this regiment where I use the steroid cream, Eucerin, and petroleum jelly on my legs. The result is that at night, when I lie down for sleep, covered in lotions and ointments, I'm reminded of being ill as a child and having the vaporizer going in my bedroom, with my chapped nose covered in Vaseline. Beuhler? Anyone?

Man, I know what you guys are thinking. "Good to have old AM back."

Yeah, man. Whew.


King Koopa said...

Dude. You’re way off. Anchorman = Modern Comedy Classic. However, I think it’s pretty obvious what caused your funny bone not to get tickled: You’re on the juice man, rollin’ on the roid river, ragin’ like a cajun! Think about it: You ever see Barry Bonds laughing? No. Mark McGuire? Not even a snicker. The top heavy meatheads over at Gold’s Gym? Well, I can tell you they certainly don’t have a sense of humor about being called top heavy meatheads. So, before you make a rash decision (pun absolutely intended) about the hilarity of a film, get off the juice son.

And, please don’t beat my ass for saying this. I was just kidding. Seriously.

King Koopa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Analogcabin said...

I agree with Koopa -- Anchorman was funny. Not a classic, perhaps, but it had some real moments.

Anonymous said...

That "quote" you sited was not me, but a bad imitation by someone who thinks she/he's really funny.

Mathis said...

Anonymous, I can honestly say that you are one of best things to happen to this site.

King Koopa said...

Alright, I'll come clean: Anonymous is not crazy, I'm guilting of impersonating a depressed anonymous drunk blogger. I'm sure it occurred to you guys to do what I did, I just couldn't stop myself. I was just sure my over-capitalization would give it away. That last line "a gift of valubles and a flower of beuty" was a random stroke of genius faux-drunkenness, though...I still like it. I just couldn't believe the original post was real either, which it may still prove not to be unless Anonymous can produce some proof of his side of the story. Any Mastodon footprints around Barney's Beanery? Testimony from the busty babe in question?

And, to echo the AM, thanks for stopping by, Anonymous.

ps - If you're mad that we don't take you seriously and that we're kicking you while you're down, remind yourself that this is a blog and it's a blog that is maintained by a person who calls himself The American Mastodon. And, up until awhile ago, he would only refer to himself in the third person. That's the kind of place this is, bro.