Friday, April 01, 2005

I'M SHOCKED - SHOCKED TO FIND THAT GAMBLING IS GOING ON IN HERE!

The more things stay the same, the more they stay the same. Below are a couple of recent headlines that failed - spectacularly and with great panache - to surprise me in the least.

1) Mugabe's Zimbabwe Government Accused of Election Fraud

Have you ever owned an aquarium with fish? You know how it gets really dirty and gunky and every once in awhile you've got to change the water? Well, did you ever let it go for too long and all the fish died and then stuff started growing on the sides and you tried to clean it but still, you just couldn't scrape all of the crap off, and even though you left it in the hot summer sun to completely dry out for a few days, it still smelled so awful, I mean incredibly pungent, and you just figured that at that point it was worth more to you to just go ahead and spend the $20 on another aquarium instead of monkeying with this one anymore? Sigh. Yeah.

2) US Soldiers Arrested for Columbian Drug Plot

This is just like the movie Three Kings, except these guys didn't save anyone's life, and instead of smuggling gold, it's cocaine, which is basically the same thing, apart from the fact that people die from cocaine, but still, I'm sure that these guys are just as rakish and charming as Ice Cube and George Clooney.

2 comments:

Danny Fisher said...

instead of smuggling gold, it's cocaine, which is basically the same thing, apart from the fact that people die from cocaine,

Come now, I'm sure someone has died from trying to snort cocaine.

Mathis said...

Did you mean gold? Cause I don't get it.