Tuesday, July 26, 2005

FOR A GOOD TIME

Watch these commercials. All of them. If I could be any living filmmaker, I'd probably be Errol Morris. Well, maybe not. He does seem relatively neurotic. I suppose I should say that I'd like most to make the films he makes. For instance, news has reached American Mastodon HQ that a new Errol Morris box set has been released to the ignorant and unappreciative American public. This couldn't make me happier, as I view "Gates of Heaven" and "Vernon, Florida" as two of the best films ever made. And lookie!! They're in one box together!!

If I had any nerve I'd go to Harvard and work with him and make movies or I'd go back to Indiana and make my own movies, but I don't have any nerve so there you go and yes I will fax those documents for you, Bob, and why yes, I will try to get Mr. So and So on the line and by all means of course I will file these old documents for you.

Also, in a somewhat related vein, I'd just like to say that I don't care what any of you namby-pamby liberals have to say about "Historical Misrepresentation" or any such bullshit. Mel Gibson fucking rocks and is becoming the most independent and daring filmmaker of our time. Put that in your ACLU pipe and smoke it, muthatruckas.

He's like Herzog if Herzog believed in an ancient sect of the Catholic Church and played practical jokes on people and was just in general real dashing and such.

Oh! One more thing - this short story is fantastic.


If you type "George Saunders" in Google Images, this is one of the pictures that you get.

UPDATE!!! For the sake of science, please take this test to ascertain the social class you were raised in based upon the items found in your living room. I'll have to wait for corroboration from T.S., but my calculations put my upbringing at a 79 (working class). Geesh, and all this time I thought we were high-falutin aristocrats!!

6 comments:

King Koopa said...

I was somewhere in the mid-low 80's, working class. If my mom wasn't so damn picture-happy we'd be sittin pretty up in middle class, sneerin down on the Mastodon Family. These days, with each successive grandbaby my parents slip farther and farther into working class.

T.S. Farmhand said...

74

Mathis said...

Confirmed!! I knew it!! We were poor as shit growing up, and cultural vagabonds to boot!

T.S. Farmhand said...

We weren't poor as shit, just dumb as shit. Big difference.

Mathis said...

Right. Gotcha. And now we're...

T.S. Farmhand said...

Confused as shit.