Wednesday, July 28, 2004

DID DARWIN KNOW THAT MONKEES ARE MEN?

Well, it's just another Pleasant Valley Wednesday here in status symbol land, and the American Mastodon is so fucking bored he's pulling tufts of his hide out with his tusks. He's been in a relatively peachy mood lately, but one nagging thought will not go away: What the hell are you doing in Los Angeles, the Mastodon asks himself. So far, he has been unable to answer convincingly.

When he gets in these ruts, he finds it's helpful to read about the tragedies and horrors that people the world over are suffering through, as he sits in his plush chair typing away and answering phones. For instance, there's this cheery report about the current situation in Sudan entitled Darfur: Rape as a weapon of war: sexual violence and its consequences.

He's not sure about you, but knowing that he's not dying at the hands of Muslim warlords while his sister and mother are gang-raped and mutilated with rudimentary weapons by khat-crazed government-supported militiamen always puts the Mastodon in a great mood.

1 comment:

King Koopa said...

You know what I think about when I'm disillusioned about my place in this world? No? Well, I'll tell ya: It's remembering that I've been given the gift of the magic stick; a magic stick that has been arching backs and curling toes of women around the world.

It's a gift like Midas'; I gotta be careful when and where I pull it out.