SHIFT IN FORM

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king /
And then became one?
Well, except for the names and a few other changes /
If you talk about me, the story's the same one!

Except it was a Mastodon that little frog became, and not a king. Funny, that.

So, the American Mastodon is beginning to feel restless and adventuresome once again. During the past two years, this is a feeling that has come bubbling to the surface during six month cycles. When the stirring starts to stir, it means one of two things will invariably happen: he'll work himself up into making an awful life decision that involves moving very far away from where he's living, or he'll ride the wave out and return to being unhappy and tired.

The American Mastodon attributes these feelings to the barely understood machinations of the human body and mind. Namely, something to do with chemicals, and how he wishes he had some more than others; whichever ones MDMA gushes out, he'll take those in spades. Also, he notices that at times he becomes overly idealistic and emotional. A recent occurence, for example, came after the Mastodon read Barack Obama's hope-filled and cynical-free speech at the DNC. For a mulatto, that boy sure can sing a sweet note. In addition, Mr. Obama filled the AM with unrealistically high expectations of himself and of the world.

The AM thinks that people with big dreams are real morons. Still, he can't help but envy them.