Wednesday, August 18, 2004


Hey, remember when that al-Sadr guy said he was going to fight to the death? And then he compromised? Wasn't that, like, two months ago? And then he said he was going to fight to the death again? And then he compromised again, like, earlier today? The American Mastodon is just happy that it seems like America knows what it's doing over there in Iraq! Clearly, the coalition is on the same page and is moving forward in unity and clarity!!

The AM should be doing his drawings for his Landscape Architecture class right now, but he's lost interest in absolutely everything. Just lost it. It evaporated, disappeared, escaped into the ether. Yesterday he made pasta and put way too much balsamic vinegar in the sauce. What was he thinking? It tasted like mammoth ass. A little sprinkle of the balsamic spruces up a sauce, he's found, but too much ruins it. Isn't that true for life? For love? A little goes a long way. But throw on too much, and suddenly you're knee deep in a pile of horse manure, hands digging frantically, eyes squinted and focused, hoping to see the glimmer from that watch she gave you that doesn't even tell time anymore, but there's this engraving on the back that has her initials, which are also the intials for "Butt Fucker", but you've never said that to her, because maybe she's sensitive about that, God knows she never let you bring it up, let alone try it, which was fine with you, but isn't that sort of ironic, now that your new Diesel jeans are completely ruined from the cow shit you've been entrenched in for an hour or so, and maybe you think to yourself that there is some odd justification to all of this, not that you believe in karma or anything, just that the way you live your life can lead you down certain paths, and sometimes those paths lead to a farm in the southwestern corner of Montana, where a watch you really want to save is buried underneath a quarter ton of manure.

The American Mastodon knows, babies. He knows how it goes.

More later? Sure, why not.

1 comment:

Reagan said...

I've decided that all my instincts up to this point have been wrong. It's time for me to change everything. Where do I start? I don't know if it's possible, but I'm just going in circles at this point so change is most definitely necessary. I don't want to end up in a pile of cow sh*t.