Tuesday, August 17, 2004

A MASTODON STANDING IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUTH

Last weekend was wonderful. The American Mastodon found himself in the friendly confines of New York's famed Lower East Side, where he was lucky enough to catch up with good friends: some from his past and some from his very recent past. "SB" and the AM spent much of Friday driving through various parts of downtown on SB's gorgeous Hungarian moped. Zipping in and out of traffic, whizzing by pedestrians, and smelling the awful stench of raw fish and Asians in the bowels of Chinatown was enough to make the whole trip worth it. Luckily, that was only the first day. The second day saw the AM and "JC" attempting to, and eventually aborting, their long-discussed trip to Central Park, wherein JC and the AM got lost on the subway, ended up in the Bronx, and decided it was better to head back to the LES than deal with trying to connect with the correct train.

The rest of the weekend was spent drinking and crying, albeit rarely at the same time.

Saturday night the AM was invited to a party where, rumor had it, there would be in attendance a gaggle of those elusive and mysterious creatures known as "bloggers." Man, holy shit. Jesus. There's a reason they sit behind computer screens all day, people, and it's not because they're uploading images of themselves to Playboy.com. Geesh, the AM hasn't seen an uglier group of people since he attended his friend's interpretive dance concert in college. But who is the AM to judge, right? It's not like Snuffleupagus is getting any tail, or trunk for that matter. The American Mastodon only brings up this festival evening because of a conversation he had with one of the party's more refined webonalities. When asked what he was "into", the AM replied, "I've been getting into Landscape Architecture," to which the dapper young lad quipped, "That's the most boring thing I've ever heard."

As the AM said earlier, the weekend was filled with much drinking, and with many tears.

So, to all the haters out there who don't find Landscape Architecture to be quite the cat's meow, not exactly the kitten's crumpet, something just short of grandma's handbasket, the AM defies you to not enjoy these links:

Coen + Partners out of Minneapolis. Although the AM has said that he doesn't want to do residences, be sure to check out the "Emerson" and "Jones" lots. The AM would like to do stuff like this. He really would.

Pamela Burton Company out of Santa Monica. The AM is toying with the idea of calling up Pam and asking for some sort of job. From the company profile: "We consider landscape and architecture as two modes of the same visual and spatial continuum. Working with displacements within a rational order, we introduce metaphorical themes and the layering of history in order to create resonant spaces. The design of each place evolves from its cultural and physical environment and is informed by geography, ecology, and history."

James Turrell's Roden Crater. Turrell's not exactly a landscape architect, and this is not exactly a traditional landscape architecture project. But it's amazing and awesome, and the AM would love to visit his crater. Here's a good link that discusses Turrell the artist.

At the risk of "boring" to all those fast-paced, hifalutin New York City types, the AM will stop now, while he's still ahead. Also, he doesn't really have any more links. Maybe landscape architecture is boring? Let's hope VH1 does a special on the profession soon.

11 comments:

Reagan said...

Aren't you worried that these "bloggers" you met might take offense to you calling them ugly? B/c you know they look online, you know they're out there. Also, if VH1 does do a special on Landscape Architecture, you can bet your a** Micheal Ian Black will be there to comment.

Mathis said...

I would hope that the "bloggers" I was referring to would understand that I was probably by far the most unattractive person there, and that they would have pity on me for being so deluded or defensive as to write something so preposterous. But yeah, they all suck! (I just want them to hold me...)

Mathis said...

Well, except for that one guy, who was, like, super ugly. I think I was better looking than him. And the great thing about my blog is that only about 8 people know about it, and of those 8, 3 of them read it. Also, as far as Michael Ian Black discussing Landscape Architecture on VH1, I would hope that he could incorporate a discussion on "tacos" into the program.

Reagan said...

I'm sure you're better looking that the super ugly guy. It's not like you have a clubbed hand or anything.

T.S. Farmhand said...

"That's the most boring thing I've ever heard" is the most boring thing I've ever heard.

Mathis said...

T.S., must you always speak in riddles?

Mathis said...

T.S., must you always speak in riddles?

T.S. Farmhand said...

T.A.M., must you always speak in doubles?

T.S. Farmhand said...

Also, people who say things like "that's the most boring thing I've ever heard" probably have a bad case of the creeping crud.

In my experience, anyway.

Your mileage may vary.

& etc.

Mathis said...

T.S.: I think ending correspondence of any kind with an &etc. is a pretty classy move. Trademark that sucker and you'll be a rich, rich man.

&etc.

Rob said...

First of all, it's & c. &=and=et. & etc. = et et cetera, which is wrong, wrong, wrong!

Second of all, speaking of get-togethers of ugly bloggers, you never got around to detailing our baseball rendevous, which hurts. A little. Not that it necessarily deserves a write-up, but you promised.