If you'd like to read something funny, read this: Pete Rose Haircut.
And if you'd like to read another thing that is funny, read this: Then he added, “You have your life and your work, and you should get the two as confused and as mixed up as possible. Make it all one fabric. Vincent van Gogh did that. Hank Williams did it, Allen Ginsberg, Bukowski, those kinds of people did it.” He thought about it for a moment, lit his cigar, and added, “Anne Frank, of necessity, did it.”
And if you'd like to read something that is neither funny nor good, read the latest New Yorker short story (but why would you?): "Thicker Than Water"
And if you'd like to hear my potentially new and groundbreaking theory of evolution, let it be said that I spoke with my roommate and not only has the idea been suggested in a recent book, but it has been called "not plausible" by some, you know, scientist or something. Well, fuck them. You know, they used to make fun of Edison and Einstein, too. But who had the last laugh there? Who?