What can I say? I don't think I've ever hated an athlete more than I hate Kobe Bryant.
It's not like I'm a man who hates very many athletes. Sure, there are the superstars on the rival team who seem to beat your team every year, like Tom Brady, but it's very hard to actually hate those athletes. In the case of Brady, I loathe him, yes, but I also respect him. If I were to see him at the mall, for instance, I'd be more inclined to point at him, wag my finger, grin, shake my head, and say, "You rascal, you. You rascal!"
In the case of Kobe Bryant, whom I hate, I'd be more likely to scream, "OMIGOD! Grab your wives! He'll rape them all, the man will RAPE ALL OF YOUR WOMEN!" while running away.
I don't really have one particular reason for why I hate Kobe. Here's an idea, though:
I love women. Not just "love em" love em, but really love them. They are all my Christian sisters. When a man rapes one of them, he has broken a bond with them, with God, and with me.
Here's another idea:
I hate his stupid face. Have you ever noticed that Kobe Bryant looks like Kobe Bryant? He's got a real Kobe Bryantish sort of face, which I just hate, because I hate Kobe Bryant. Sends shivers up my spine.
And finally, here's something particular I hate about Kobe Bryant that, I believe, neatly sums up what I hate Kobe Bryant in general:
Don't hit yourself in your chest with a fist. I swear to God. I will hunt you down and kill you.
You are not Jeffrey Wright in Shaft. Though, of course, I most certainly wish you were. That way, you would have had a knife in your hand and would be dead by now.
I hate you, Kobe Bryant. I hate your Kobe Bryant face. Stay away from my asshole, and from women that are not your wife. Don't hit yourself in the chest with your fist. This isn't 1999. You're not Michael Jordan. You're an asshead. You do not deserve anything you've ever acheived in life. You should shrivel and shrink like a toad and moan in misery the rest of your life.
And wipe that stupid-looking Kobe-look off your stupid Kobe-face.