ALBERT QAEDA HAS 1,937 FRIENDS

I always knew that that damn site was un-American, insiduous, and the eventual ruin of modern civilization.

Remember when kids used to play around in the out-of-doors, catching insects and turtles in the pale sunset of a summer evening, returning home to a freshly made meal and a tall glass of lemonade? I do, goddamnit. Now we got the internet - halle-freaking-lujah - and with it, pornography, terrorism, and pederasts. If you listen closely, you can hear the dying sound of the American spirit. Thanks-a-fricking-lot, Al Gore.

After relying heavily on fixed — and thus vulnerable — Web sites until early 2002, al Qaeda quickly switched to hiding its online operations within more legitimate bulletin boards and Internet sites offering free upload services or connecting through such popular social network sites as Orkut and MySpace.