There are three reasons why you should read this short story:
1) It's perfect.
2) It's by Tobias Wolff.
3) It's short.
The whole country was being hollowed out like this, devoured from the inside, and nobody was fighting back. It was embarrassing, vaguely shameful, to watch people get pushed around without a fight. That’s why he’d taken on his little pop-eyed pug of a client with her fucked-up hand—she was a battler. Stonewalled every step of the way, bombarded with demands for documents, secretly videotaped, insulted with dinky settlement offers, even threatened with a countersuit, she just lowered her head and kept coming. She’d spent all her savings going after the surgeon who’d messed her up, to the point where she’d had to move to San Francisco to live with her son, a paralegal in Burke’s firm. Her lawyer back here in New Delft had suffered a stroke and bowed out. The case was a long shot but Burke had taken it on contingency, because he saw that she wouldn’t back off, she’d keep pushing to the end.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
SCANDAL
Recent news coming out of Washington indicates that "[CIA Special Prosecutor Patrick] Fitzgerald admits that he has been told some emails from the President and Vice President's offices have been deleted, though he cautions that 'no pertinent evidence has been destroyed.'"
I, my friends, have acquired those emails, and have reprinted them below. EXCLUSIVE!
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
3:14PM
sup bro. thinking about checking out 'two for the money' tonight. mccaunaghey(sp?) is smokin hot. whatya think?
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
3:31PM
furreals. i was thinking about maybe takin lynne with me. she loves sports movies (weird, right?) plus, pacino, need i say more? nuff said. also, you have any idea what happened to all the mr. pibb? fridge seems to be empty...
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
3:54PM
sorry duder. i was here late last night working on my novel and polished off the batch. maybe we could get an intern to restock. you seen the new honey from g'town? that broad is suh-mokan, am i right.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:12
chick definitely be bangin. i know her dad from way back in wyoming, so it's like kind of off-limits for me but you should def try to tap that. so yur workin on another novel, huh? good luck with that [eye roll] just dont quit yur dayjob!
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:19PM
just bustin yur balls, broham. you know i think yur an awesome writer. hey, maybe you and lynne should work on something together sometime. just dont be hittin that shit when i'm not around, dude, know what i'm saying? fuck, did that chick get the pibb yet?
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
4:32PM
ha ha very funny. i'd like to see you try to write a book, dick(head!). it's not that easy. anyway, i wouldn't want to get with lynne, so you don't have to worry about that. she likes sports movies, huh? yeah, that's pretty weird. does she like softball and wife beater shirts, too? does she watch a lot of ellen? LOL, dude, i'm just razzin ya.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:46PM
just because mary's munching on mittens don't mean momma's a muff diver, too. you need to grow up.
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:01PM
hey, big chief, it was a joke. anyway, brittany (the intern) just got back with the pibb. but guess what? it was all DIET. what an idiot. i just might have to 'reprimand' her if you know what i'm saying.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:08PM
diet pibb? who drinks that kind of shit. i'd rather piss in a cup and drink it. i did that once, actually. you know what it tastes like? shit. hey, where you gonna see 'two for the money'? amc in georgetown?
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:16PM
yeah, probs. wanna catch a bite beforehand? i know a good french place down by the water. it's pretty sweet. the waitresses there are ridonculously hot. ridonculous. anyway, let me know. whatever's clever with me, homeslice.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:23PM
sweet. never been before. i'll have to get lynne first - she's at the gym right now doing yoga or some shit. before you know it she'll be reading my horoscope and, like, you know, reading my palm or something, right! maybe when this vp shit is all over she'll wanna move to beverly hills or sumthin and do yoga all the time. wutevah!
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:26PM
dude, way hilarious. yur married to a hippie chick! does she light incense and drink tea and stuff like that? hilarious. i'm gonna tell norquist. he's gonna shit a brick. yoga! anyway, pick you up at 7?
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:27PM
you tell norquist you die. i'm serious about that.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:39PM
dude, i'm fucking with you!! jesus, you are wound up today or something. you know i wouldn't call a hit on you. not yet at least.... dum da dum dum dum...
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:45PM
oh, really scary, i was shaking in my boots. and i'm the one who needs to grow up? i was just taking a shit, bro, it's not like i thought you were furreal. oh, and norquist wants to know what kind of sushi lynne likes!! LOL!
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:53PM
you fucker! i told you not to tell norquist. now he'll tell reed and mehlman - those guys can't keep a secret to save their lives. next thing you know there'll be an article in the jew york times about how lynne doesn't shave her armpits and smokes pot all day! LOL! they'll be all like, 'no wonder their daughter's a total muff diver!' dude, my life is over! you suck! i'll see you at seven.
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:58PM
seven it is, asswipe. see ya then.
I, my friends, have acquired those emails, and have reprinted them below. EXCLUSIVE!
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
3:14PM
sup bro. thinking about checking out 'two for the money' tonight. mccaunaghey(sp?) is smokin hot. whatya think?
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
3:31PM
furreals. i was thinking about maybe takin lynne with me. she loves sports movies (weird, right?) plus, pacino, need i say more? nuff said. also, you have any idea what happened to all the mr. pibb? fridge seems to be empty...
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
3:54PM
sorry duder. i was here late last night working on my novel and polished off the batch. maybe we could get an intern to restock. you seen the new honey from g'town? that broad is suh-mokan, am i right.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:12
chick definitely be bangin. i know her dad from way back in wyoming, so it's like kind of off-limits for me but you should def try to tap that. so yur workin on another novel, huh? good luck with that [eye roll] just dont quit yur dayjob!
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:19PM
just bustin yur balls, broham. you know i think yur an awesome writer. hey, maybe you and lynne should work on something together sometime. just dont be hittin that shit when i'm not around, dude, know what i'm saying? fuck, did that chick get the pibb yet?
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
4:32PM
ha ha very funny. i'd like to see you try to write a book, dick(head!). it's not that easy. anyway, i wouldn't want to get with lynne, so you don't have to worry about that. she likes sports movies, huh? yeah, that's pretty weird. does she like softball and wife beater shirts, too? does she watch a lot of ellen? LOL, dude, i'm just razzin ya.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
4:46PM
just because mary's munching on mittens don't mean momma's a muff diver, too. you need to grow up.
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:01PM
hey, big chief, it was a joke. anyway, brittany (the intern) just got back with the pibb. but guess what? it was all DIET. what an idiot. i just might have to 'reprimand' her if you know what i'm saying.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:08PM
diet pibb? who drinks that kind of shit. i'd rather piss in a cup and drink it. i did that once, actually. you know what it tastes like? shit. hey, where you gonna see 'two for the money'? amc in georgetown?
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:16PM
yeah, probs. wanna catch a bite beforehand? i know a good french place down by the water. it's pretty sweet. the waitresses there are ridonculously hot. ridonculous. anyway, let me know. whatever's clever with me, homeslice.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:23PM
sweet. never been before. i'll have to get lynne first - she's at the gym right now doing yoga or some shit. before you know it she'll be reading my horoscope and, like, you know, reading my palm or something, right! maybe when this vp shit is all over she'll wanna move to beverly hills or sumthin and do yoga all the time. wutevah!
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:26PM
dude, way hilarious. yur married to a hippie chick! does she light incense and drink tea and stuff like that? hilarious. i'm gonna tell norquist. he's gonna shit a brick. yoga! anyway, pick you up at 7?
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:27PM
you tell norquist you die. i'm serious about that.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:39PM
dude, i'm fucking with you!! jesus, you are wound up today or something. you know i wouldn't call a hit on you. not yet at least.... dum da dum dum dum...
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:45PM
oh, really scary, i was shaking in my boots. and i'm the one who needs to grow up? i was just taking a shit, bro, it's not like i thought you were furreal. oh, and norquist wants to know what kind of sushi lynne likes!! LOL!
From: Dick Cheney
To: Scooter Libby
5:53PM
you fucker! i told you not to tell norquist. now he'll tell reed and mehlman - those guys can't keep a secret to save their lives. next thing you know there'll be an article in the jew york times about how lynne doesn't shave her armpits and smokes pot all day! LOL! they'll be all like, 'no wonder their daughter's a total muff diver!' dude, my life is over! you suck! i'll see you at seven.
From: Scooter Libby
To: Dick Cheney
5:58PM
seven it is, asswipe. see ya then.
EVEN EBAY HATES JAMES FREY
You are bidding on an emotionally-authentic Denison University beer mug that I seem to recollect receiving from "A Million Little Pieces" author James Frey. This very mug may have been involved in a number of the authors drinking escapades while attending Camp Denny-do. It's in perfect condition considering all the tough times it may have been through. I remember that it was signed on the bottom by the author, but the autograph has inexplicably disappeared.
via the Young Professor
via the Young Professor
JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP WEIGHS IN ON THE JAMES FREY SCANDAL
Some people ain't no damn good
You can't trust 'em you can't love 'em
No good deed goes unpunished
And I don't mind bein' their whippin' boy
I've had that pleasure for years and years
No no I never was a sinner--tell me what else can I do
Second best is what you get 'til you learn to bend the rules
And time respects no person--what you lift up must fall
They're waiting outside to claim my tumblin' walls
Saw my picture in the paper
Read the news around my face
And now some pepole don't want to treat me the same
When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' crumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down
Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy
I'm uneducated--my opinion means nothin'
But I know I'm a real good dancer
Don't need to look over my shoulder to see what I'm after
Everybody's got their problems--ain't no new news here
I'm the same old trouble you've been havin' for years
Don't confuse the problem with the issue girl
It's perfectly clear
Just a human desire to have you come near
Wanna put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me you can break me
But you'd better stand clear
When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' crumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down
You can't trust 'em you can't love 'em
No good deed goes unpunished
And I don't mind bein' their whippin' boy
I've had that pleasure for years and years
No no I never was a sinner--tell me what else can I do
Second best is what you get 'til you learn to bend the rules
And time respects no person--what you lift up must fall
They're waiting outside to claim my tumblin' walls
Saw my picture in the paper
Read the news around my face
And now some pepole don't want to treat me the same
When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' crumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down
Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy
I'm uneducated--my opinion means nothin'
But I know I'm a real good dancer
Don't need to look over my shoulder to see what I'm after
Everybody's got their problems--ain't no new news here
I'm the same old trouble you've been havin' for years
Don't confuse the problem with the issue girl
It's perfectly clear
Just a human desire to have you come near
Wanna put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me you can break me
But you'd better stand clear
When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' crumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down
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