Monday, June 14, 2004


Mastodons have had an evolutionary history separate from that of mammoths and elephants for at least 20 million years. Nonetheless, all of these animals resemble one another in overall body form and are placed in the same order of mammals.

Today the American Mastodon had an interesting experience. He travelled to a local educational facility and enrolled in a class relating to the study and implementation of the profession of landscape architecture. The American Mastodon has found this to be a peculiar stage of events, as he has little regard for the architecture, built or natural, in the world at large. Even still, he possesses an attitude of upmost optimism and curiosity in the subject, and intends on enjoying his three month sojourn into the world of hydrologic slope sustainability and pretty gardens.

Also during this day, the American Mastodon paused and thought about whether he was, generally or not, a lucky person. He found his attitude to be in favor of saying "no" but then imagined living in any other way, at any other time, in all of the shit places that one could live, in all of the shit societies and governments, and thought that perhaps a majority would have voted "yes". Experts are still trying to determine why, originally, the Mastodon felt the urge to say "no."

The American Mastodon, scientists believe, is prone to such self-doubting, and to such sentimentalism. This, they say, is not an unnatural favored emotion in such large-tusked creatures.

About 250 mastodon fossils have been found in southern Michigan, according to dave Thomas, the head of Washtenaw Community College's geology department.


Analogcabin said...

Here's to hoping this dailliance with dirt lasts longer than your previous love affairs with taxidermy, law, film, and heterosexuality. And that this blog lasts longer than Billy Sunday did.

So many characters.

Mathis said...

Why do you not have faith in the American Mastodon?