Thursday, June 17, 2004

HOMELAND

The American Mastodon was a large elephant that roamed the open spruce woodlands, usually in low-lying areas such as valleys and swamps. Being covered with a shaggy hair coat, it was well adapted to the cold environment of the Ice Age.

It is known that the American Mastodon preferred the moderate climes and lush vegetation of the American Middle West. Therefore it is a bit surprising that the American Mastodon finds himself in, of all places, Los Angeles, California. Not unexpectantly, he has been lamenting the open pastures and rolling meadows of his homeland, and today waxed nostalgiac over the time spent in his previous stomping ground, Chicago. The Mastodon had good friends in Chicago and enjoyed his stay there, but felt the need to forage and wander. He has, perhaps, travelled too far west.

What is interesting is that the Mastodon has found that although he is in a foreign land, surrounded by unrecognizable vegetation and canopy, he occassionally finds himself in moods of supreme optimism and contentment. During these moments, the Mastodon is lucky enough to forget his worries and is able to enjoy his time on this earth as a member of the living, thinking orders. He is able to comprehend his happiness.

Still, scientists who have studied the creature expect that the Mastodon will someday find his course, as is the nature of most proboscid mammals.

The mastodons, along with the mammoth, are now extinct, possibly due to over hunting by Ice Age man.

2 comments:

Jessica said...

Drivel.

Sorry, you needed your first haterade comment. It's like losing your blog virginity.

The Reverend Harlow Jesse Carpenter said...

Genius.

You needed your first inexplicable blog praise.