Tuesday, September 07, 2004


The American Mastodon has never been known as the animal kingdom's most graceful member. In fact, though he is considerably more agile and adept than his big brother the Wooly Mammoth, let's face it: the animal is a large, furry elephantine monstrosity with a long trunk and over-sized, outdated tusks.

Still, it was with surpisingly lack-of-grace that the Mastodon was able to get inebriated enough to break not one, not two, but three glasses full of various alcoholic beverages on Saturday night. Undoubtedly, the AM's gracious host was more than a little perturbed at the seizing youngster's fits of uncontrol. But part of the AM's charm is his utter inability to function as a normal adult, and thus, to be sure, all in attendance were charmed.

The rest of the Labor Day weekend was spent similarly. Drinking and talking, and not breaking things, a block from the ocean, hundreds of miles from LA, and in the company of the world's most fantastic bulldog.

Belee dat.


Reagan said...

I couldn't be prouder than if I'd been there in person.

T.S. Farmhand said...

I oncet saw the Wooly Mammoth break a window in such a state, which made a female member of the species laugh at him, and they started talking and whatnot, and wouldn't you know it--they ended up getting married. So there can occaisionally be upsides to these episodes. (Though I should say that is rather the exception to the rule).

Mathis said...

The American Mastodon is intrigued. He has not heard this story relating to the Wooly Mammoth. Will T.S. not share the tale with us now?

T.S. Farmhand said...

You are correct in that it is an interesting story, but you are wrrong in assuming that I would be the type of man to recount such gossip as where ladyfolk may be present.