Thursday, February 10, 2005

YUCKRAKING

Sinclair Lewis's legacy of the muckraking journalist gets a shot of life in this latest report from Fox News.

No rock is left unturned in this damning expose of Michael Jackson's accusers, who claimed to have been "kidnapped", despite mounting evidence to the contrary. Indeed, one of the author's confidential sources has this to say: "The mother loved Outback and wanted to eat there all the time." What kind of woman consumes blooming onions while her son is molested and held hostage by the King of Pop?

Amazingly, the evidence against the defense continues to accumulate. As the author writes, "I have seen receipts that show that the family had a telephone in their hotel room and used it constantly during their five-night stay." Seriously, people, hasn't this witch hunt gone on long enough? Can the regular law-abiding citizens who frequent this site really imagine using a telephone, not to mention repeatedly, if they themselves were kidnapped?

Something smells fishy about this case against Mr. Jackson, and it's not the wine the nice man in the white military uniform just put in my Diet Coke.


Billy Jean is not my lover. He's just a boy who claims that I am the one. Who molested him.

3 comments:

Mathis said...

Do you get it? See, "yuckraking". You know, like I'm trying to shore up some laughs. Just fucking forget it, you asswipes.

T.S. Farmhand said...

Weak sauce.

King Koopa said...

Yeah, I wouldn't have gotten that either and now that you pointed it out, it's even less funny. But, I suppose if there's a silver lining to every dark cloud, there's a little bit of funny in that horrendous pun, at least in theory.

As far as Jacko (best celeb nickname ever!), I see it as a coming together of the perfect scam and the perfect mark. A marriage made in con-artist heaven. The kid w/ cancer was the bait and Michael was just way too easy of a target. The mom and Jacko are probably both guilty of being sickos and neither one should be allowed to do what they've done.