Thursday, April 07, 2005


In which I refuse to be cowed by the pressures of crass commercialism, thereby sticking it to the muthafuckin' man!! Go me! Go USA!!

Subject: if i wanted to send you something...
Date: Thu, 7 Apr 2005 10:23:11 -0700
From: "*********, Laura"

...let's say a book, to which you might have a strong blogger reaction, where would I send it?

Laura *********
Marketing Coordinator


Subject: Re: if i wanted to send you something...
Date: Thu, 7 Apr 2005 14:16:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "American Mastodon"
To: "*********, Laura"


Thanks for considering me as a possible shill to help you sell books, but please realize that there are precious few people who read my site. In fact, I'm just a guy who enjoys writing zany things now and then with the hope of giving my friends a nice hearty chuckle at work. I'm sure you'll be able to cull a few people who will have a "strong blogger reaction" to the book you're responsible for marketing, but unfortunately, I'm not your guy.

If you still feel as though you'd like me to read the book, or future books, please go ahead and forward them to:

My Arse.

The American Mastodon

The American Mastodon, fanboy, pictured above, preparing to fight his imaginary war and vanquish his imaginary foe, looking totally stoked for battle.


T.S. Farmhand said...

I'm intensely curious as to what book might cause you to have a strong blogger reaction. And even more curious to know what a blogger reaction would look like to the casual observer.

Anonymous said...

Go fanboy, go!

King Koopa said...

Dude, you’re my hero. More than that, you’re a great American hero. Believe it or not, you’re walking on air, you never thought you could feel so free-eee-eee. Flying away on a wing and a prayer, believe it or not, it’s just the American Mastodon.

(You should really consider making this your blog’s theme song.)

Mathis said...

T.S.: Me too, man. Me too.

Anon: Take that, Empire!

Koopa: Blogs don't have theme songs, Koop. At least...not yet.